After the bomb
by UrbanTunes
Summary: Toby&Adil's story continued. /slash (obviously)/. After saving Adil from his apartment, Toby just wants him back - but things are not that easy. In these troubled times, there is no way back, only the way forward into the unknown. Will they find a way to forgive each other? Can they get back into their old lives together? Let's hope for the best... Disclaimer: characters not mine


I was pacing up and down the room. I still felt the aftermath of the panic of the evening. Adil was lying on his back, tucked in exactly as I had positioned him almost an hour earlier, staring at the ceiling. The tears that had been streaming from his eyes sideways into his pillow had abated a while ago.

Adil had clung to me after I had found him. When I had carried him outside into the open air, he had vomited so copiously onto the pavement it seemed improbable that his stomach could have held as much content. I did not pay much attention, I was too relieved. Adil seemed very shaken, exhausted, but not severely hurt. I decided to take him back to the hotel with me. Leaving his side was out of the question. Indeed, at that moment, I honestly believed I was never going to let him out of my sight again. I will certainly never risk losing him again, that much is true.

When I arrived at home, the place was bedlam. I quickly gathered that a bomb had gone off in the West part of the building. I did not inquire what exactly the damage was, let alone the human cost. I knew that I could not take any more horror that day. Of course, I made a point of finding Emma, Mr. Garland, mother and Freddie to make sure they were unhurt. Everybody else would have to wait.

Volunteers had already arrived. Doctors and nurses were dressing wounds and examining the survivors. Adil was leaning on me heavily as we approached a doctor. I improvised, "A gas pipe burst. He must have breathed in a lot of it. Also, he has thrown up a lot." The doctor nodded, calmly feeling Adil's pulse, shining a light into his eyes and going through all the usual steps of an examination. He said that Adil needed plenty of fresh air and water and that someone should keep watch over him for the night. "If his condition stays stable, the worst should be over," he said.

I thanked the doctor and continued half carrying Adil towards the hotel entrance. By that time, security personnel had already cleared some undamaged parts of the hotel. A few guests were venturing back inside, if only to collect their belongings. It transpired that some nearby hotels had offered to accommodate Halcyon guests as far as their capacities allowed it.

Of course, it would have been appropriate for me to stay at the Halcyon. But I found myself in a state where I did not care one bit. I saw Freddie standing poker-straight near the main entrance, overseeing the procedure, offering apologies and words of consolation to the guests, giving them directions as to how to find their new accommodation. I flat out told him I was going to find a room for Adil and that he needed someone to watch him for the night. Freddie was in a right state himself – he merely nodded and smiled dazedly.

We finally found a room at the nearby Primrose, a modest but comfortable house that had been kind enough to open its doors. And since then, Adil had been lying in bed, motionless, first silently weeping into his pillow, now staring blankly at the ceiling. He had not said one word.

"Adil, speak to me!" I begged, not for the first time in the last hour. I was starting to sound desperate. "Can't you speak at all?" - "I don't know… what to say," he finally croaked.

As I sat down next to Adil and grabbed his hand in both of mine, I felt tears of relief well up in my eyes. "Say that you will never do something like that again!" I implored. I was starting to sob now. "Why..." Adil continued hoarsely. "How… could you… stop me? What will become… of me… now?" He had closed his eyes, an expression of sorrow on his face. "My old life… is gone," he sighed. He started shaking worse than ever, but there seemed to be no more tears left in him.

"We'll find a way. I promise!" I was leaning forward, lying down next to him. He turned away his head. "Adil," I whispered in his ear, feeling myself panicking. "Adil, listen! I am here. I'll find a way! I didn't mean what I said, do you hear me!"

He slowly turned his face back towards me. "What?" he asked. "I said I didn't mean any of it. I never wanted this..." I wept. "What I said… it was cruel, and wrong, and… I do love you. I do. I always will. Please..."

With a grimace, Adil turned entirely onto his side to face me now. But his eyes looked through me. "Oh, Toby..." he whispered. I sensed that he was still far away from me. I needed to get him back, to draw him closer. I pressed my lips to his. He did not turn away, but let it happen. Then he started to speak again, very quietly. "You… may feel… this way now. But… what about tomorrow? You… will never… truly…forgive me." - "I have," I retorted, my voice ringing shrilly in my ears. "I have! Now you must forgive me. Please!"

Adil turned his vacant gaze towards the ceiling again. "I'm... so very – tired," he whispered weakly. "Can I ask… a favour?" - "Anything," I assured him. "Will you… stay…?" I hardly waited for him to finish. "Of course," I said, attempting to move closer to him on the mattress.

He closed his eyes and was fast asleep within mere seconds. I am quite sure he did not feel my fingers caressing his face. I am also sure he did not here me bawling into the pillow next to him.


End file.
